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Friday I went out with my bicycle. < I learnt how to cycle properly after coming here to Holland. A kind Irish friend of mine taught me. That day I rode with him and another (Norwegian) friend around the city to hang out with some people and all was well… Then my bike lost some air in the back tire which I got filled and time passed without me using the bike.> So as I was saying… Friday I went out with my bike and I had a lot of confidence. I do not know where it came from.
Maybe it was because I didn’t want to be a burden on my friends when they have to take me home. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to be a wuss. Whatever it was I had the courage. In my life however, courage is like the wind when it comes its really strong but when its doesn’t theres not even a leaf that twitches.
Today I went out and it was like I had forgotten how to ride the bike. I toppled over more than five times. I saw the bus approaching so I swerved onto the side, noticed there was a staircase so i just fell down on to the footpath to avoid falling down the stairs. Where are you now confidence? Why did you depart?
Tomorrow I have to go out again confidence do come back. Don’t leave me so…
Not like I have a lot of followers that would like to read a whole diary sort of blog entry but this is my blog and I just wanted to update…
Well I finally got my computer keyboard fixed and the week had gone back to normal. It was just another day when I decided it’d be better if I called the university because I really needed to know when orientation was. Until then all I knew was that the year would start early September because that is what it said on the acceptance letter.
<recap>When I messaged quite a few times I got no reply. So after waiting more than a month I called back = to the day I am talking about. </recap>
They said university would start August 29th which wasn’t all that bad considering that is close to early September but they didn’t know when orientation would be… I was told to call the next day which I did without hesitation only to be told thatit will be held on the 22nd of August. The day was Thursday the 18th and I freaked out because its not easy to buy a ticket that late especially when planes do not fly from South Korea to the Netherlands everyday…IN freak out mode I started to pack and I packed good~!
I had made an appointment with the Toshiba center to fix my computer on the 20th so I hoped I could get a ticket for the 21st but it didn’t turn out that way. So I am leaving 22nd morning (leaving the house at 5am… leaving Gwangju, which is an hour away from my house at 7am and then its off to the Netherlands) The 22nd btw.. is tomorrow. In less than seven hours I will have a new start laying out in front of me…
I like new beginnings not because of the food that I get to eat to conclude that which will be in the past, not because of the new things I can learn, not because of the adventures… well maybe all of those things.. but in general its because of the possibilities.
I can be a whole new person. I can make it such that my life and the past I say I had could be created out of a figment of my imagination. Now is the time I wait and contemplate as to whether I should do that or not. Now is the time I sit not scared, not excited instead I’d say its rather emotionless. The last time I decided I was a bit outgoing and extremely courageous. That worked out well but I did learn a lot that I could re-polish.
I do not know what is coming but I know what has been… I will not change for the world because I am still me but there is always the chance to become better and here is mine.
(ps: I tried to insert the read more link thingie but it didn’t work :/ sorry..)